Now that I’m just over halfway through re-publishing my first three books, I wanted to take a moment to reflect and share what I’ve learned from the experience.
The first thing I want to share is more of something I remembered than ‘learned’:
I’m fucking insane.
I mentioned it a little in the Author’s Note in Melting Hearts, but publishing 3 books in 1 year is crazy. Even with them being re-writes, I’m still writing, editing, making the cover, marketing and everything else that goes into publishing a book.
And I chose to do it three times.
In 12 months.
I took a look at my Big Project for the year – y’know, the thing that I do around everything else – and went, ‘yeah, that’s not hard enough. What if I tripled it?’
I was crazy back in 2016 when I decided to do it the first time and I’m apparently still equally insane now. Who says you calm down with age?
Oh yeah, and just in case you’re new around here, or thinking something like, ‘well surely you are not that insane! It’s your publisher’s/boss’s/etc.’s fault!’ you’d be wrong. Just like all the work that goes up on the website, I’m an indie book publisher, too. It is literally just my fault. No one forced me into this deadline, there was no gun to my head – I actively chose to do this to myself. (Twice!)
Luckily though, it seems the 2nd time’s the charm because I am never doing this again. Not for the 20th 30th, 50th or 100th anniversary – never again. The only multi-book release years in my future will be if they’re non-fiction, like word-search or similar ‘game’ books. (I’ve had some very vagued half-baked ideas for getting into non-fiction books, but that’s another post)
Don’t get me wrong, I love my job and I wouldn’t trade it for anything else in the world! But sometimes I get a glimpse of just how difficult it can be – whether from my own hand or not – and need to take a step back and just say, ‘damn’.
I still think it was a cool idea to kick off my writing career this way. Publishing multiple books was an ambitious goal to set (not to mention advertise!) for my writing debut and I like that it got my name on more than one book quickly so I would be – or, at least, seem – more established.
Back then, I hadn’t even had my website set up, I was strictly posting on DeviantArt. (I wasn’t even on Archive of Our Own yet!) Wanting to transition to a professional space seemed big and I wanted my debut to reflect that – and, I think I did a pretty good job, if I may say so myself.
It’s been a lot of fun reflecting on not only where I was in my writing journey back then, but also who I was as a person.
It’s funny, 10 years both feels like it wasn’t that long ago and like it was a million years back. I’ve done so much and come so far since then… it’s crazy to think about.
I was just starting my adult life: I was in my first year of going vegan, was only 2 years into a long-term relationship and was just starting to enter the job market, too. I was a little lost and looking to find my footing.
It’s also crazy to think about where I am now and how it’s not that far off from where I was back then, funnily enough. Right now, I’m still vegan (10 years!), am a little over 2 years removed from what turned out to be a 9 year relationship and was feeling a little lost at the start of this year.
Re-publishing these books has allowed me to find some stable footing in my life again, just like they did back then.
Revisiting these stories has also been really fun!
Being able to not only look back at my old writing but improve it so I can better communicate what the stories were supposed to be to you guys has been great, if not, a little cringe-inducing in the process. It’s been cool to see that I’ve actually come a little ways since then, despite not feeling like it on a day-to-day basis.
Also, if I’m being honest? I’m glad I’m finally removing my old editor’s fingerprints from the first two books.
They didn’t do anything bad or ‘wrong’ per se, we just… had different creative directions for how the stories went and how the books themselves should look (formatting/styling-wise). It’s probably not something anyone else noticed, but it’s irked me for 10 years when reading my books that I could clearly hear their voice in places instead of my own. It was frustrating because on the one hand, I knew they only helped – they were quite literally just doing the job I asked them to do! – but on the other, it made the stories sound choppy and disjointed to me, so I’m glad I’ve finally been able to rectify that.
It’s like I’ve been living with a splinter in my finger for the last decade and I’ve finally been able to remove it.
If revisiting some of your old work is something you’ve been thinking about, despite what I’ve said above, I’d recommend it! It’s been a fun, interesting experience and I think you might be able to learn a lot about your own style changes, your growth, old tropes you’ve forgotten about or any number of other things. Just don’t do multiple books in one year. (For the love of God please learn from my ‘this would be cool’ vs ‘that’s not how time works’ mistake)
And, don’t worry, I don’t have plans to re-write any of my other books. And even if I did eventually want to, it would become boring because eventually, there’d be a point where all I’d be doing is re-writing old work instead of creating new ones, and I know that would drive me further insane then I am now.
This three books in one year thing is truly a once-in-a-career moment and I’m glad I’ve got to have the experience twice – even with all the additional stress. (And yes, I know exactly how that sentence sounds, I think it’s funny and it’s 5am so I’m not changing it)
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